best military jokes
General Military Questions

20 Best Military Jokes Of All Time (mainly for kids)

Though many would say that military service is no laughing matter, most service members and their families would agree that having a sense of humor is an important part of work and life in the military.

There are many clever jokes that apply to military service in general as well as those that are more specific to one of the branches.

Whether jokes are based on wordplay, ironic situations, or just a bit of silliness, military humor can be appreciated by almost anyone.

Here are 20 of the best military jokes to enjoy.

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General Military Jokes

best general military jokes

#20. What is the military’s least favorite day of the year? March 4th.

#19. You know you’re a military family when…the area code for your cell phone is 510, your spouse’s is 253, your iPad’s is 619, your business card says 913, but your Facebook page states that you live in Virginia.

#18. A little boy was staring in wonder at the names on a plaque in an old church. The pastor noticed him and asked, “What are you looking at, my son?”

The boy replied, “All those names up there. Who are they?”

The pastor smiled and said, “Why they are the names of people from this congregation who died in the service.”

The little boy thought for a moment and then asked very quietly, “Which one? The 9:00 or the 11:00 service?”

#17. What are the two most important rules in the military?

1) The commanding officer is always right.

2) If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.

Army Jokes

best army jokes

#16. What’s the difference between a PFC and a 2nd Lieutenant?

The PFC has been promoted twice.

#15. What do you call all the rosters for E-4s?

The special-lists.

#14. Why is the Army so strict about soldier uniforms?

To minimize casual-tees.

#13. After 35 years, General Green retired from the Army to fulfill his dream of bird hunting in his spare time. He got a new hunting dog and named it “Sarge.” The dog was incredible at pointing, flushing, and retrieving. General Green’s friends were so jealous that they offered huge amounts of cash to buy Sarge. But the general always refused, proudly saying that Sarge was the best bird dog he’d ever owned and that he couldn’t part with him for any price.

A year later, one of General Green’s friends visited and was surprised to find that he was breaking in a new dog.

Fearing the worst, the friend asked, “What happened to good old Sarge?”

The General looked sad. “I had to shoot him. My wife kept calling him Colonel, and pretty soon all the dog would do is sit on his ass and bark.”

Related ArticleTop 20 Reasons To Join The Military (And 7 Reasons NOT To)

Air Force Jokes

#12. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over?

He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”

#11. My father says that when he retires from the Air Force, he plans to become a chef. By then, he should be a seasoned veteran.

#10. What happened to the Air Force pilot who tried his stand-up act at a comedy club?

He bombed.

#9. How do you play Air Force Bingo?

“A-10 … B-52 … F-16!”

Navy Jokes

best navy jokes

#8. “I’m sorry, Dad, I just don’t want to join the Navy.”

“Well, son, you have officially earned my SEAL of disapproval.”

#7. What do you call a happily married single parent?

A Navy spouse.

#6. Why do commanders appreciate the non-swimmers in the Navy?

They defend the ship with a lot more enthusiasm.

#5. There are a lot of things that some Army soldiers can’t comprehend, but everyone in the Navy can fathom it.

Marine Corps Jokes

#4. The general discloses to a nearby major, “I’m worried that we don’t have enough troops for the mission.”

The major replies, “I’m sorry, sir, but that seems like a personnel problem.”

#3. Why was the Marine Corps created?

Because even the Army needs heroes.

#2. The sergeant asked, “Corporal, why did you salute that tiger?”

The corporal replies, “Didn’t you see all his stripes?”

#1. How can you tell if you’re married to a Marine?

He gets up at 0500 even when he’s on vacation.

Featured Image:

Rob V.
Army Jokes

Army Jokes

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